dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize