I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
