Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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