as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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