Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
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