LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
