the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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