so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
