Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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