I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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