Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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