She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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