she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
