yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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