It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
