Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
