Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
