she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
