I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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