Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I can't turn off my feet"
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
