im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I think people are normalizing furries
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
