Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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