so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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