yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
