I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
