Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
