I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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