I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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