New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
