she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
