Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
