Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
