Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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