Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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