Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
