I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
