We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
