he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
no you cant smoke seaweed
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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