At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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