Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
