ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
