Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
