I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
there is glitter all over my balls
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
