I wish you could order shots online.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
