I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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