if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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