Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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