my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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