I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize