I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
