All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
