Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
