what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
