the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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