Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
