I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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