Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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