Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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