I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
There's always time for handjobs
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
