if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
