Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize