I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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